Ana's Confession 1

clenched and tight
ready to explode
tumbling and falling
caving in –implode
her mistake
her freedom depleting
save her : find me
her skin is crawling

each fiber
of which was me
just a figment
a mere memory
her ach
this moment fleeting
save her : find me
clawing at her pigment

waiting to be losing
a girl alone
transparent and frail
disappearing prone
she will not wake
save her : find me
she’s growing so pale

consumed by ignorance
invitingly undone
diving into vanity
her trigger my gun
her life i’ll take
my control defeating
save her : find me
she’s swimming into insanity

Oh God I'm Hurting Him

Oh god I’m hurting him.
Saying it doesn’t make it hurt less,
Doesn’t make it more okay.

Each lift of the corners of my mouth
or of his
is just another movement into our lie
-into my lie.

This feeling?
Its label I’m unsure of
Its source just as much a mystery

I know I’m hurting him
But I won’t stop
Can’t give him - or this up
It’s cruel

But then again he stays
He lets me hurt him
So am I the only one to blame
This misery

Is it possible I can find in him a place to place my blame?
To lighten the burden that I am hurting
This man I say I love?